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Bad stuff

Page 14 / 108

391. Stalkers are following you on twitter and you are a celebrity.
392. You have a shaved head but you don't look like vin diesel.
393. When you were growing up everyone told you that you were special. Now as an adult you realize that you are not special.
394. You place an item on eBay and nobody places a bid.
395. While eating a chocolate ice cream some falls on your pants. The stain never comes out just like on the simpsons.
396. You have no balls. Metaphorically speaking.
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metaphor
397. You invent a time machine and get transported to the year 3017. As soon as you appear you get lasered by a robot and die.
398. The pretzels are making you thirsty and there is nothing close to drink.
399. You set a mouse trap and the mouse is smart enough to carefully take the cheese without setting off the trap. MOUSE 1, YOU 0.
400. While turing off a light switch you get zapped and your finger turns purple.
401. A spider bites your ass.
402. Lots of birds swoop down at you and start trying to peck your eyes.
403. Somebody asks to borrow a pen and then never return it and you need a pen.
404. You see a plumbers ass crack while he's working on your sink.
405. You are still using altavista and you have never heard of google.
• http://www.altavista.com/
406. You play with fire and you get burnt.
407. You are at the bottom of the food chain.
408. You're not getting any.
409. You're a dog and it's time for your fortnightly bath and you hate water.
410. You sneeze 4 times in a row.
411. You jump up and down on the bed and it breaks.
412. Your friends are idiots.
413. You take your horse to water but it doesn't drink.
414. While washing your hair in the shower you accidentally put on conditioner first because the shampoo and conditioner bottles both look the same.
415. You buy a new computer and it doesn't have USB.
416. You get confused easily.
417. While trying to fall asleep you hear a ticking sound and it drives you nuts.
418. You talk to the hiring manager at your local hardware store about getting a job. They say to send them an email with your resume attach so you do. A minute later you receive a return to sender email error. 'email address not found'.
419. You grew up in a household where you were taught that first is everything and second and third don't count. For the last 4 years you have woken up at 4am to train for the Olympics. You then get silver.
420. You peel off a bandaid and the other side is green.