Bad stuff

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  1. You find a dead mouse under the kitchen stove.
  2. You own a ring which is too big for you finger.
  3. You are angry with the world.
  4. A comet lands on your house.
  5. You win a lifetime supply of chocolate. After a week you are sick of chocolate.
  6. You slip down a slippery slope.
  7. You get an itch and it won't go away.
  8. You accidentally sit on a pinecone.
  9. You don't win an eBay auction by 5 cents.
  10. You get a carpet burn.
  11. You don't feel motivated to go to the gym and decide to sit on the couch and each doughnuts.
  12. Your cat hates you.
  13. You lose your voice and people think that you're faking it.
  14. You get caned with a bamboo stick.
  15. In a foreign country you thrown in jail for stealing jelly beans.
  16. You work with a bitch at work.
  17. Snappy the crocodile song comes on the radio.
  18. You are late for court.
  19. You are a goose.
  20. You lack discipline and get told off.
  21. Only bad stuff happens to you.
  22. You only have $7 to your name.
  23. You like carrots. You like carrots so much that your fingernails turn orange.
  24. You call someone and they say that you have the wrong number.
  25. You take a shit and 10 minutes later you need to go again.
  26. When your partner snores it sounds like a chainsaw.
  27. While giving your testimony in court the judge says bullshit.
  28. You have to move house.
  29. When riding on crowded public transport feral people touch you.
  30. You breath in pollution.
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